Speaking of Weird

The Democrats return to homecourt advantage as they shout ‘Stranger Danger!’ at JD Vance

By Mark Cromer

Americans wanting to watch some champion gymnastics this week had a couple of choices: they either tuned into the Summer Olympics in Paris or they channel surfed across any of the agitprop platforms programming Democratic Party talking points, where they could view gold medal performances in the team sport of groupspeak.

For those that chose the latter, odds are good they caught at least some of the Democrats’ high-stakes match of the moment: calling JD Vance “weird.”

During that intramural competition of attempting to tar the Republican nominee for vice president with a casual slur that frames his identity and positions on the issues as far outside of societal norms, Democrats are performing absolutely mind-blowing contortions of a level not seen since Olga Korbut captivated the world with her aerial ballet in the uneven bars competition.

But where the fabled Sparrow from Minsk captured hearts and minds across the globe with her superior skill, grace and a sunshine smile that the world so desperately needed as the Munich Games of 1972 continued, the talking-head teams and their analysts at CNN, MSNBC and other networks landed flawless routines executed with opposite-world precision and head-spinning hypocrisy as they accused Vance of being a crypto creep.

Considering the freak show contestants that Democrats have embraced, celebrated and elected over the past decade alone, it’s a fascinating game to watch.

In the Washington World of Weirdness, despite stiff competition from neocon Republican war-mongering maniacs like Sen. Lindsey Graham (whose predilections extend far beyond his fetishistic disorder with the horrific gore of war) and assorted other GOP-aligned and adjacent freaks on TV, the Democrats are fielding the deep bench of their bizzarro dream team to a clear homecourt advantage.

There’s team leader Joe Biden, who is transitioning from player-coach to emeritus status but can still look back at decades of habitually violating the personal space of women and young girls as he stuck his schnoz in their hair and necks for a deep Jeepers Creepers whiff.

Following Old Uncle Sniffer are Democratic players like Eric Swalwell, the congressman from Contra Costa County in California who dominated much of the Russia-Runs-Trump operation on the House Intelligence Committee. Yet Swalwell had his viral moment when he ripped a massive fart during an interview on live television but managed to press on with a straight face even as the Chernobyl-grade flatus rose from his soiled pants and reverberated around the digital world.

Then there’s Democratic Party hero Admiral Rachel Levine, the coxswain of the gender dysphoria crew who spent most of his life as Richard Levine before debuting the celebrated persona that recently rowed the progressive shell past Pride Day, Pride Week and Pride Month with a record-setting call for a ‘Pride Summer,’ which will inevitably be surpassed by calls for a Pride Year and, eventually a Decade of Pride. Levine was joined on the team by Dylan Mulvaney, who many Americans first mistook for a white descendant of Flip Wilson’s female impersonation character Geraldine Jones, down to the hard-to-hide five o’clock shadow and parody-heavy schtick. The confusion over whether this was a Vaudeville act or mental illness wasn’t cleared up until Biden invited Mulvaney to the White House, where it gushed about celebrating “222 days of girlhood” and Bud Light took it from there.

Rounding out the Democrats ceremonial freak flag fliers are such luminaries as David Hogg, whose instant policy expertise was born of surviving a ghastly mass shooting. Hogg also denounced Vance as “weird” on CNN but was careful to avoid mentions of his own bizarre behavior, such as his public bouts of fantasizing about his own death, musings complete with flourishes of grandeur that often present in psychotics, by calling upon his followers to carry his body to the doors of the National Rifle Association’s headquarters. Nor did he mention his critics gleeful suggestion that the NRA accept the delivery and have a taxidermy specialist on standby ready to stuff and mount his carcass in a display case for installation in the NRA’s lobby for its members to enjoy.

Hogg follows in the wake of past medalists such as Megan Rapinoe, the lavender-headed soccer superstar whose posing on the pitch caused such a sensation and bestowed on her mad credibility in the Social Justice Games, along with Greta Thunberg, the child star whose teary-eyed and finger-jabbing lecture to fuel burners everywhere immediately elevated her to savant status, versus the word that usually precedes it.

The coordinated onslaught against Vance reveals just how much they fear the Ohio senator and his potential reach into the population of working white Americans and particularly white males, for they understand that demographic will determine the outcome of the 2024 election. While the Democrats have ostensibly launched counter appeals to white Americans, including a ‘White Dudes for Harris’ social media campaign (Hogg is onboard but it’s unclear if Mulvaney or Rapinoe are participating), that outreach may fall flat come the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, which begins on August 19 and is likely to prominently feature the bedrock party plank that asserts white Americans are a problem to be fixed, an ill to be cured, a population pollutant to be eliminated.

With that in mind, JD Vance is certainly going to be smeared with pejoratives a lot worse than “weird,” with Democrats hoping to throw enough slurs at the wall that perhaps one will stick and deflect attention from the cast of mutants behind their barrage.